Vegetarians are ASSHOLES!

     Vegetarians. You either like them or you really hate them. And if you are a chef, it is a safe bet that it is the latter. Vegetarians have spent years coming into restaurants saying, “your food is not good enough for me, can you prepare me something special?” At least that is what it seems like to the kitchen staff.

What some people don’t know or don’t care about is that a Chef’s menu is typically a well thought out piece of “artwork.” I use the term artwork A. because I lack artistic ability, and I love to plug the term into anything I do just to sound awesome, and B. because it is a time consuming process that hopefully in the end produces a masterpiece. Chefs spend hours, days, sometimes months planning a menu. Searching through piles of recipes, deciding on menu concepts, testing and rewriting recipes. All of that time spent just to have some asshole say,”Ya, I can’t eat anything on your menu, I’m a vegetarian.”This happens so often now that chefs everywhere are being forced to throw a vegetarian option (usually a shitty one) on their menus.

In my time spent in the kitchen I have come across 3 reasons why people are vegetarians.

  1. For religious reasons. I have no argument here, everyone has the right to believe what they want.
  2. For animal rights reasons. I could write a whole other article on animal rights issues, but I once had a dog that died, so I get it.
  3. Because people are inherently STUPID. People think that because they are vegetarian now they are healthy! Maybe even shed some pounds! (I call Bollocks on this one.)

Now I don’t want people to think of me as a racist toward vegetarians because I truly love fruits and vegetables. I can eat a whole meal of broccoli. But what I love even more, is the harmony created by bacon and vegetables. I mean what is sweet corn succotash without bacon? Well, it’s a sweet corn succotash that I don’t want a part of.

My point is this. If you are a vegetarian or you are thinking of becoming a vegetarian you should realize a few things. Chefs are hardworking laborers that create the best food they know how. This almost always includes meat, because it is ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. Do not start to think that for any reason you are better than someone else. You do not deserve special recognition. You are not a better person than me because I meat. And lastly, Do not go into any restaurant and ask for a special off menu preparation of your food. This whole vegetarian craze is getting popular enough for people to open places devoted entirely to vegans. Go to these places. They want your business! I want your business too, I just would rather you go elsewhere than to hear your complaining.

Categories: Chefs, Cooking, food, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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